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爱的丧失,是给童年期的孩子带来情绪的困扰的主要方面

 
时间:2020-08-02 10:14点击:
童年期,给孩子带来情绪的困扰有哪些?第一客体丧失,第二爱的丧失......。

       在成长过程中,儿童会遇到很多困扰。其中一些要比其它的更有威胁性。我们的心理会发展出一些对于困扰的感知,这样我们就可以预见到困惑并避免。我们没办法让我们的孩子免于各种困惑干扰,但我们可以对那些(对孩子来说)最需要注意的危险,保持觉察。



       弗洛伊德第一个提出, 我们在(童年期)所长久经历的无助感和对他人的依赖感会对心理发展造成影响。非常大的影响。他认为焦虑的发展和童年期创伤的、危险的情境有关,在这些情境中,儿童是被压垮和淹没的,无法掌控情境。年幼的儿童在成长和成熟的过程中,学会了预见创伤情境的出现,并在它发展成灾难之前用焦虑来应对它。弗洛伊德称这种类型的焦虑为信号性焦虑:一个特定的情景或者线索为人们提供了一个危险马上要到来的信号。信号性焦虑可以调动我们的资源,让我们可以面对或者避免即将发生的创伤。因此,焦虑的一个作用是:它帮助我们预见即将到来的危险。

      爱的丧失:孩子到了7或者8个月左右的时候,父母对于他们来说,是一个独立的、独特的个体。仅仅是自己的需要被满足已经不会让孩子感到满意了,他和主要抚养人之间发展出一个独特的、强有力的依恋。对孩子来说被抱着是不够的了,现在,更为重要的是到底是谁在抱着孩子。 在这个时期形成的陌生人焦虑,只有较少的一部分是来自于对陌生人的恐惧,更多的则是孩子和主要的养育者(通常是妈妈)之间强有力连接的一种证明,表现了孩子对于照顾者的强烈需要。贯穿整个生命,爱的丧失都可以是一种危险的情境(当别人生我们气的时候,我们经常会焦虑、紧张-这种焦虑起源于我们最早遭遇的爱的丧失),而这种丧失的体验对孩子影响最大,因为他们在7岁以前还没有建立起来稳定的自我感。经常发生的情况是,爱的丧失问题会围绕兄弟姐妹之间的竞争来建构组织。


英文:
    Children face many dangers in the course of growing up.  Some are more threatening than others. Our minds are organized so that associations to danger are remembered so that we are able to anticipate danger. We cannot protect our children from every danger they face, but we can be aware of which dangers, to the child, are of most concern.

    Freud was the first to point out that our long period of helplessness and dependence on others has psychological consequences for mental development.  Major consequences.  He described the development of anxiety as related to what he called the traumatic and danger situations of childhood, experiences in which the child is overwhelmed, unable to master the situation. In the course of growth and maturation, the young child learns to anticipate the advent of a traumatic situation and to react to it with anxiety before it becomes traumatic.  This type of anxiety Freud called signal anxiety: a specific situation or cue provides the person with a signal that danger is coming.  Signal anxiety serves to mobilize the person’s resources to meet or avoid the impending trauma.  Anxiety, therefore, serves a purpose: it helps people to anticipate impending danger.

    Loss of love.  At around 7 or 8 months, the parent becomes an individual, unique person to the child.  The child is no longer content with having his or her needs met, but develops particular and very powerful attachment to his primary caretakers.  Just being held no longer does it for the child.  Now, who is holding the child matters --  a lot.  Stranger anxiety, which develops at this time, is less a fear of strangers than it is a testament to the powerful bond and need the child feels for the primary caregiver, usually the mother.  Loss of love is a danger situation that extends through life in some ways (we often get anxious and uneasy when others are angry with us – this anxiety derives from our earliest encounters with loss of love), but children are most vulnerable to it before they establish a firm sense of self, through age 7. Issues with loss of love are often organized by sibling rivalries.

   童年期,给孩子带来情绪的困扰有哪些?——客体丧失
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